Rich Dog
Now that Leona Helmsley has left $12 million to her dog, many are asking what a dog can do with that kind of money. In what might be a related story, there is now a $12 million contract out on Michael Vick's life.



Craig Loses Support
Several Republican leaders are now calling on disgraced Senator Larry Craig to resign, but most GOP lawmakers just want him to promise never to use the Senate mens room.



Nifong Pleads
Disgraced former prosecutor Mike Nifong pleaded not guilty Thursday to contempt of court charges. Nifong insisted he has no contempt for the court, just for rich white kids.




GAO Report
A scathing report by the General Accounting Office is blasting the Iraqi government for failing to meet the vast majority of political, economic, and military goals set out for them by the voters... oh wait, that's actually the GAO's report on the Democrats in Congress.



Model Bitten
A Mrs. America contestant from Tennessee spent about 15 hours in a Tucson hospital after being bitten by a rattlesnake at a hotel. Even after the attack, she was still more coherent than the average Miss Teen USA contestant in the interview competition.

Craig Caught
Senator Larry Craig joins a growing list of GOP officeholders accused of gay sexual misconduct. Well, now we know why the Republicans are so against gay marriage; it would take all the fun out of dating.

Several gay men are now expected to come forward to say they had relationships with Larry Craig. Luckily for him, even the guys he had sex with have never heard of Larry Craig.

The latest scandal proves how hypocritical Republicans are when it comes to homosexuality... and how hypocritical the Democrats are when it comes to respecting diversity.

What are the chances?... there are three gay people from Idaho and they all work in Larry Craig's office.



Sadr Suspension
Anti-American Iraqi cleric Muqtada al-Sadr has suspended his militia's operations for up to six months as they reassess their weapons, manpower, and exposure to the subprime mortgage crisis.



CBGB Founder Dies
The founder of the New York rock club CBGB has died at 75. He get into Heaven, but only if he has the proper hand stamp.


Helmsley's Will
Leona Helmsley's will leaves $12 million to her dog, but nothing to two of her grandchildren. You'd think being able to use the toilet would have given the kids an edge... but hey, you never know.


Top 10 New Corporate Sponsored College Football Nicknames

10) Nebraska Ethanol Huskers

9) Alabama Crimson Tide Detergent

8) Florida Crocs

7) Penn State Food Lions

6) USC Latex Trojans

5) Notre Dame Fighting Irish Spring

4) Syracuse Sunkist Orangemen

3) Cal American Express Gold Card Bears

2) LSU/Exxon Tigers

1) Arkansas Gillete Razorbacks

Craig Arrested
Senator Larry Craig says that police misconstrued his actions before arresting him for lewd behavior in a Minneapolis airport restroom. Craig, who had been working for Mitt Romney's presidential campaign, insists he was simply doing some "private polling."



Gonzales Quits
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has resigned. If he was going to keep getting criticized for breaking ethics laws, he figured he might as well do it for real money in the corporate world.

Gonzales Quits II
President Bush says Attorney General Alberto Gonzales name was dragged through the mud for political reasons... which is something that he only thinks should be done to U.S. attorneys.

Gonzales Quits III
Democrats in Congress are cheering the Gonzales resignation... now they can go back to calling their mistresses without fear of their phones being tapped.



Reality TV
With mortgage fears rising daily, a few popular reality TV shows have had to retool for the fall, including "Extreme Makeover: Foreclosure Edition," and "Ditch This House!"


Vick Apology
Michael Vick publicly apologized for his role in a dog fighting ring and said he "needs to grow up." Actually, what he needs to do now is learn how to shower with his clothes on.


Obesity on the Rise
The bad news is that 31 U.S. states showed an increase in obesity rates last year. The good news is that the two-for-one sandwich special at Arby's has been extended indefinitely!

NEWSDAY ALERT!! I'm was back in Thursday's "Punchlines" column in Newsday and Newsday.com! Here's the link: Newsday



Allawi to Return
Iraq's former interim prime minister Ayad Allawi says he will return to Baghdad soon to "improve things in his country." And he can do that right away by becoming the one bombing victim Americans can care least about.



DMX's Home Raided
Police in Arizona have removed several pit bulls from rapper DMX's home. The dogs are being sent to Virginia where they've been subpoenaed to testify against Michael Vick.



Greek Fires
Massive fires are consuming large areas of southern Greece and are racing toward several ancient sites. Greek police have a warrant out for Prometheus and have orders to arrest him on site.



Crazed Passenger
Quick-thinking passengers and crew members managed to subdue a deranged man who tried to open an airplane door on a Frontier Airlines flight to New York Saturday. No charges were filed after it was determined the man is a Frontier Airlines shareholder.



Daddy for President
Five of the top presidential contenders from both parties have children under the age of 10... well, at least they have someone they can relate to.




Lunar Eclipse
The Earth's shadow will creep across the moon's surface early Tuesday, slowly eclipsing it and turning it to shades of orange and red. In a cruel twist of fate, this is the only time of the year when geeks in astronomy class have a decent shot of getting lucky, but school hasn't even started yet.


Lunar Eclipse II
The Earth's shadow will creep across the moon's surface early Tuesday, slowly eclipsing it and turning it to shades of orange and red... but there's no word on how this will affect the growing mortgage crisis.

Iraq Wish List
Nightmarish realities in Baghdad are prompting American officials to curb their vision for democracy in Iraq. Instead, the officials now say they are willing to settle for a government that functions and can bring security... but why should the Iraqis get that before Americans do?



LLWS Favorites
Taipei is one of the favorites to win this year's Little League World Series... that is, if they aren't effected by their poisonous lead-based bats.



Vick Defended
The head of the Atlanta chapter of the NAACP says said Michael Vick should not lose his football career with the NFL. The NAACP leader insists the organization doesn't condone dog fighting or animal cruelty, it just doesn't think anyone should be punished for it.



Fast T-Rex
New research shows that the Tyrannosaurus rex could reach relatively high speeds and could have been able to outrun most modern-day sportsmen like David Beckham. Based on the report, Nike and Adidas are now in an all-out bidding war to sign the T-rex to an endorsement deal.



Strahan's Decision
Giants pro-bowler Michael Strahan is still not sure whether he wants to return for another season. He wants to play, but it's hard playing on a team where everyone is sleeping with your ex-wife.



Cramer's Track Record
Records show that investors who took Jim Cramer's stock advice in CNBC over the past two years would have done better had they simply invested in a regular index fund. Of course, they could have REALLY done better if they had simply sold him tons of psychiatric drugs.



Thompson's Resume
Fred Thompson says working on the NBC series "Law and Order" has prepared him for running for president. That makes sense, TV actors and presidential candidates both mostly smile and just say the lines a bunch of overpaid Ivy League graduates write for them.

Bad Conditions
A U.S.-based workers' rights group says it's found "brutal conditions" eight Chinese toy plants. But the workers are still safer than the American kids playing with those toys.



Capital One Closings
Captiol One has closed its mortgage unit and is laying off hundreds of workers. What's in your wallet? A pink slip.



Dodd's Promise
Senate Banking chairman Christopher Dodd says Fed chief Ben Bernanke will 'absolutely' do everything possible to stabilize financial markets. So I guess the FED will be paying for the strippers on the Merrill Lynch trading floor this week.



Spector Defense Rests
The defense in the Phil Spector murder trial rested today after the famed record producer waived his right to testify. Spector didn't want to go on the stand without a reall cute backup band.



Endeavor Returns
The Space Shuttle Endeavor landed safely back on Earth Tuesday afternoon. The astronaut debriefing is being held at happy hour at Mel's Bar and Grill in downtown Houston.



Bionic Woman Issues
NBC may be forced to cancel its new fall series "Bionic Woman," before it premieres. Apparently, the star is experiencing serious problems with her Chinese-made electronic body parts.



Vick to Jail
Michael Vick will plead guilty to dog fighting charges and will get prison time... giving the guys who wrote "The Longest Yard" another excuse to pitch their sequel.

H.S. Musical 2
Disney's "High School Musical 2" is setting major viewing records across the country. Mostly because it's the first thing in years marketed to children that's not made with poisonous Chinese raw materials.


Vatican Airline
The Vatican is launching its own airline later this month. Each jet will feature special decorations, separate seating for clergy, and a confessional where the pilots can safely admit they're drunk.

Vatican Airline II
The Vatican is launching its own airline later this month. Fares will be low, but parents with children are required to sign a promise not to sue the Church before boarding.



Dean to hit Cancun
Hurricane Dean is taking direct aim at the Mexican resort town of Cancun. As a result, the two-for-one deal on Coronas at Carlos and Charlie's has been extended through Thursday.



Bears Eat Drunk Guy
A 23-year old man was found dead and half-eaten in the bear cage of Belgrade Zoo at the weekend during the annual beer festival. Next year they will no longer serve the honey wheat blend.



Delorean Comeback?
A Texas business is looking to start manufacturing the Delorean again. Each new model will come with exciting standard amenities, like a secret cocaine compartment.



Helmsley Dies
Leona Helmsley has died at age 87. She's finally going somewhere where the IRS can't find her.

Seagal's Demand
Steven Seagal wants the FBI to apologize for the investigation of some of his associates that he says has hurt his career. But the Bureau says its investigation has nothing to do with the fact that everyone in Hollywood knows he can't act.



Vick's Choices
Now that Michael Vick's two co-defendants have pleased guilty to animal cruelty charges, the NFL quarterbacks lawyers say he is "weighing his options,"... which currently are going to jail, paying a huge fine, or agreeing to play for the Oakland Raiders.



Dean Takes Aim
Hurricane Dean is bearing down on Jamaica packing 155 MPH winds. Democrats are already accusing President Bush of ignoring the people on the island, even though Jamaica isn't actually a part of the United States.



Thompson's Pledge
Even though it's been revealted that he once worked for a pro choice group, Republican presidential candidate Fred Thompson says he would ban abortion if he were elected... but not before he bans those pesky reporters who keep finding who he used to work for.



Endeavor Coming Home Early
NASA is considering ending the Shuttle Endeavor's mission a day early. The space agency thinks it's wise to separate the astronauts before they get so attached that they start stalking each other's lovers when they get back home.



Young Marrieds
A new Arkansas law technically allows toddlers to marry with parental consent... which means that if I can't potty train my daughter by next month, it's gonna be her husband's problem.


Young Marrieds
A new Arkansas law technically allows toddlers to marry with parental consent. I'm not sure if this is in some way connected to the fact that Michael Jackson just moved to Little Rock.



Chinese Mine Disaster
A massive flood in a Chinese coal mine has left 181 miners dead. That means it could be weeks before their remains are recovered in either a can of exported dog food or a package of toys from Mattel.

Stocks Melt
The stock market selloff continues as traders realize that there are more bad loans out there, hedge funds are failing, and perhaps a 2-bedroom shack in Alabama isn't worth $500,000 after all.



Young Hero
A five-year-old California boy helped deliver his baby sister after his mother went into labor at their home. The boy is being called a hero, but will still probably be sued for malpractice.



Side Impact Tests
The bad news is that luxury cars like BMW have faired very badly in the latest round of side impact crash tests. The good news is that rich people suck.



Giuliani Family
Rudy Giuliani was asked by a reporter why he should expect loyalty from voters when he doesn't get it from his own kids. Giuliani responded by saying the media needs to leave his family completely alone... something he's done successfully for more than 10 years now.



Call Him Allah
A Catholic bishop in Holland wants everyone to start calling God "Allah," so as not to offend Muslims. That should help, since Muslims really hate it when we ask for God's help when they're beheading us.



Jenna Engaged
First daughter Jenna Bush has become engaged to Henry Hager of Richmond, VA. But with Karl Rove leaving the administration, it's not clear if the couple will be able to set their own wedding date.

Iranian Terror Label
The U.S. government is considering labeling a division of the Iranian army a terrorist organization. And it's worth a lot of serious and careful thought, considering we already named the entire country a terrorist organization six years ago.



Donaghy Pleads
Referee Tim Donaghy has pleaded guilty to betting on NBA games he officiated. The plea effectively ends his career with the NBA, but begins his career with the World Wrestling Federation.



Shuttle Repairs?
After yesterday's spacewalk, NASA has determined that the Shuttle Endeavor may not need any repairs after all. It definitely needs some work, but it's just not worth reporting it to the insurance company.



Credit Crunch
Mortgage credit worries continue to depress the stock market. It's getting so bad, Americans may no longer be able to afford to buy enough poisonous Chinese toys.



Vick Deal?
Michael Vick is close to making a plea deal in his dog fighting case. Vick will reportedly accept some prison time as long as he isn't sent back to the Atlanta Falcons when he gets out.



Chinese Crackdown
The Chinese government has announced a crackdown on “false news reports," and will issue fines as it sees fit. We learn two things from this: 1) China is a totalitarian country, and 2) it's a good thing CBS News shut down its Beijing bureau.

Rove Aftermath
Experts say Karl Rove's resignation is basically the end of the Bush presidency... which is ridiculous, but it is the end of the Rove presidency.


Imus Settles
Don Imus has settled his lawsuit against CBS. The network couldn't honestly claim he was an embarrassment to the company when it still puts Katie Couric on the air every night.



Hawaii Quake
Already bracing for a hurricane, Hawaii was hit by a large earthquake this morning... but it still looks better than New Jersey.



Rizzuto Dead
Former Yankee shortstop-turned-announcer Phil Rizzuto has died at the age of 89. He hasn't even been dead for 24 hours, but he's already told Saint Peter 15 stories about cannoli that didn't go anywhere.

Rizzuto Dead II
Former Yankee shortstop-turned-announcer Phil Rizzuto has died at the age of 89... leaving Ralph Kiner as the nation's only living, 100% incoherent baseball announcer.



Vick Case
Some of Michael Vick's friends are changing their pleas and will testify against the NFL star in his dog fighting case. Looks like it's not just offensive linemen who can't block for him.

Rove Resigns
In his farewell comments, an emotional Karl Rove characterized his tenure in the White House as a "witness to history"... a witness who takes the fifth.




China Manufacturer Suicide
The head of a Chinese manufacturing company accused of shipping hundreds of thousands of lead-tainted toys later recalled in the United States has committed suicide... but it's also possible he simply didn't read the directions before playing with a new "Kill Me Elmo" toy on the factory floor.




Hillary Clinton says she's ready to introduce legislation to help strapped homeowners with sub-prime mortgage. She's going to make sure they get their homes paid for just like she and Bill did: get a campaign donor to do it for them.



Merv's Legacy
Merv Griffin is being remembered as the man behind several American innovations, including "Jeopardy!", "Wheel of Fortune," and gay sexual harassment.



Christian Frat
The University of Florida is banning an all-male Christian-only fraternity. And that's a good thing, since so many college guys are just dying to join a frat where no one ever drinks or gets lucky on a date.


Christian Frat II
The University of Florida is banning an all-male Christian-only fraternity. Of course, there already are plenty of all-male Christian-only fraternities in America... they're called "monasteries."



Endeavor Spacewalk
Endeavor astronauts Richard Mastracchio and Dave Williams performed an unplanned space walk this morning... unfortunately, neither of them was sober enough to walk in a straight line.

Griffin Dies
Merv Griffin died today at age 82... but he's still more alive than Larry King.


Big Ben Silenced
For the first time ever, the chimes on London's Big Ben are out of service. Prime Minister Gordon Brown ordered the clock silenced so it would stop disturbing all the local Muslim terrorist bomb-makers.



LAX Delay
A computer glitch stranded thousands of international passengers for several hours at LAX Saturday. Usually, to find that many hopelessly stranded non-English speakers in L.A., you just have to be on the Freeway during morning rush hour.



China Denial
In denying that it's trying to devalue U.S. currency, China's government leaders insisted today that the American dollar is important to them. Well of course it is, shredded up dollars are the main ingredient in all their exported dog food products.


Condoms for Granny
Some cities are giving out free condoms to senior citizens... hey if it keeps them off the roads at night, I'm happy.



Saudi Snake Flier
A Saudi man was detained at Cairo's airport after trying to bring live snakes and crocodiles on a plane. Egyptian officials scolded the man for not bringing bombs liked they asked.

Scene Deleted
An Iranian Muslim group has successfully pressured Hollywood producers to delete an honor killing scene from an upcoming movie. The Iranians didn't object to the idea of killing a defenseless woman, they just didn't think it was brutal enough.



Credit Crunch
As the credit crisis continues to gut the stock market, more banks are making it harder to get a loan. Now to get a mortgage, you must either have collateral, a big salary, or be Hillary Clinton.



DHS Takes Over
The Department of Homeland Security is replacing the individual airlines and taking over checking passenger info watch lists. This means most flights will go from being delayed by two hours and will now be delayed by two days.



Hurricane Forecast Downgraded
Government forecasters are downgrading their predictions for Atlantic Ocean hurricanes for the late summer and early fall. Meteorologists say tighter credit is making it harder for the storms to buy more winds and heavy rain.


Rush Hour Meltdown
Officials are blaming overwhelmed pumps and the city’s sewers for crippling the subway system during Wednesday's rush hour rain storms. But the city's rats say they're doing the best they can!



Gaza Economy
The U.N. is warning that Gaza is facing an economic meltdown. It's getting so bad, some Palestinian terrorists are thinking about getting a real job.

NYC Rush Hour from Hell
After a small rain storm totally halted this morning's rush hour in New York, the city is no longer preparing for a possible hurricane and is now just working on surviving "partly cloudy."


Home Run Record
Barry Bonds has broken Major League Baseball's home run record. He can now look forward to millions of dollars worth of pharmaceutical and medical supply company endorsements.

Barry Bonds thanked his parents, wife, kids, and even Willie Mays after he hit the record-breaking homer. Meanwhile his pharmacist says: "Who am I, chopped liver?!?"


Picassos Found
French police have recovered two Picassos worth $66 million from thieves who were expected to try to sell the masterpieces... except for one thief identified as Keith Richards, who intended to smoke them.


Shuttle Astronauts Ready
Shuttle Endeavor's seven crew members are all suited up and ready... either for a launch or a long-term stalking of each other's boyfriends and girlfriends, whichever comes first.

Shuttle Drinking
NASA says it hasn't found evidence of pre-flight drinking on shuttle flights... that's because the drinking doesn't start until AFTER blast off.


Dolphin Extinct
An international team of researchers says the long-threatened Yangtze River dolphin in China is probably extinct. The mamal was likely killed off by pollution, natural selection, and writing controversial stuff on the Internet.


Korea Summit
The leaders of North and South Korea have scheduled those countries' second-ever summit for later this month. They are expected to discuss security issues, economic trade, and their favorite M*A*S*H* re-runs.


Angry Moms
A new documentary film, Two Angry Moms, tells the story of two New York-area women who are fighting to keep sugary snacks out of public schools. The only immediate impact of their work is their kids have now been beaten up by their classmates for six years in a row.

Trapped Miners
The CEO of Murray Energy says there will be "no rest" until its six trapped coal miners are rescued and safe... or until the company stock price starts going back up, whichever comes first.

Trapped Miners II
Rescue crews are refusing to fail as they work to free six trapped coal miners in Utah. Of course, they've already rescued the rest of America from two more days of stories about that bridge collapse in Minneapolis.



Teacher in Space
Former schoolteacher Barbara Morgan is finally scheduled to fly in a space shuttle mission this week, after 22-years of training and waiting. Morgan was actually expected to fly much sooner, but until now, she just hasn't been able to hold her liquor.

Teacher in Space II
Former schoolteacher Barbara Morgan is finally scheduled to fly in a space shuttle mission this week, after 22-years of training and waiting. Luckily, she's kept busy most of that time by stalking her fellow astronauts all across America.


Chocolate Battle
A major battle is going on in the chocolate industry as some American manufacturers want to replace cocoa butter with vegetable oil and still call it "chocolate." Meanwhile Chinese manufacturers want to replace cocoa butter with antifreeze and still call it "safe."



New Richest Man
Mexican telecom billionaire Carlos Slim has overtaken Microsoft founder Bill Gates as the world's wealthiest man. Slim plans on celebrating by hiring several Microsoft programmers to clean his pool for less than minimum wage.

New Richest Man II
Mexican telecom billionaire Carlos Slim has overtaken Microsoft founder Bill Gates as the world's wealthiest man. You can tell which is Slim's house... it's the one with Lou Dobbs out front cutting the grass.


Van Halen Reunion
David Lee Roth is rejoining Van Halen for a reunion tour this fall. But it's not clear if its a concert tour or just a travelling pro wrestling match.

Market Rebound
The Dow soared almost 300 points Monday as Wall Street's fears about bad credit eased. Stock traders finally realized that the best way to deal with too much debt is to sign up for more credit cards that give away free NFL beach towels.


HBO Film
A new HBO film documents the lives of the survivors of the atomic bomb attacks on Japan. Actually, living through a nuclear blast is still better than sitting through one episode of "John from Cincinnati."



Boston Market Sale
McDonald's has reached a deal to sell its Boston Market chicken chain to private equity firm Sun Capital Partners. The chain is worth $200 million, but Sun Capital reportedly paid $220 million for the supersized drink and a extra side order of mashed potatoes.




Usher Married
After an unexplained delay last week, pop singer Usher finally married his pregnant girlfriend in a private ceremony over the weekend. Usher's representatives say the singer simply needed to move the wedding to a location that was safe from Lindsay Lohan.



New Chrysler CEO
Former Home Depot chief Robert Nardelli has been named the new CEO of Chrysler. His first order of business will be remodeling every Chrysler dealership so that the cars you want are stacked atop impossibly high shelves where no one can reach them.

Karzai Meetings
Afghan President Hamid Karzai is meeting with President Bush tomorrow and then rushing to meet Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf later in the week. After that, Karzai will have a second date with either Bush or Musharraf, based on votes submitted by fans over the phone and via the Internet.



Madonna Adoption
Madonna's attempt to adopt a Malawian child have hit a snag as the court-appointed adoption official was refused permission to travel from Africa to Britain. Apparently, the vaccines a person needs to safely enter Madonna's home just aren't available in Malawi.



Republican Debate
Sunday's GOP debate was dominated by the abortion issue. Mitt Romney assured voters he is solidly pro-life, John McCain reminded everyone he has always fought against pro-choice measures, and Rudy Giuliani said he now only favors the abortion of his own kids.



Bear Stearns Firing
The credit crisis in the stock market has resulted in the shocking firing of Bear Stearns co-President Warren Spector... nobody ever thought anyone that completely white and boring could ever lose his job on Wall Street.



South Carolina Stop
Two South Carolina men were detained after police found a suspicious item in their car Saturday night: a shirt.

Rice in West Bank
During her meeting with Mahmoud Abbas today, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice pledged $80 million in aid to the Palestinian government. In return for her pledge, Rice will get the "Palestinian Terror Attack Greatest Hits" DVD collection and an exploding tote bag.


Toy Recall
Mattel has recalled almost a million of its Chinese-made toys that contained dangerous amounts of lead paint. The move is baffling Chinese government officials who swear that the local toddlers who made the toys find lead paint to be absolutely delicious.


iPhone Patch
Apple has issued a software patch to fix some security holes recently discovered in the iPhone. But for the patch to solve the average iPhone owner's most serious problems, it would have to include a comb, deodorant, and a date.



FDA Bonuses
The FDA has been paying huge bonuses to its top administrators in order to keep them from leaving. But why would anyone ever leave a job where you get free drugs?


Bridge Collapse Bus
One of the vehicles on the bridge in Minneapolis that collapsed Wednesday was a schoolbus full of kids. None of them was hurt, but now the collapse has become yet another thing the newsmedia is blaming on childhood obesity.



R. Kelly Trial Date Set
Grammy Award-winning singer R. Kelly will go on trial September 17 on child pornography charges. Kelly is demanding to be tried by a jury of his peers, but the only true peer they can find is Michael Jackson.

FOX Biz/WSJ
Now that Rupert Murdoch's deal to buy the Wall Street Journal is complete, the new FOX Business Network will get a major boost. But to make the Journal reporters more comfortable, the network will have to broadcast only in black and white.


Foreign Beats Domestic
Toyota is close to beating the American automakers in domestic sales for the first time. GM believes the best way to respond is to make a bigger Hummer.


Home Sales Spark
Home sales showed a surprising jump in June, as Americans realized that finding their own quiet place to live was the best way to stay safe from Lindsay Lohan.



Vick Comment
A Pittsburgh newspaper reporter has apologized for reportedly saying that alleged dog-fighter Michael Vick would be in less trouble if he had "raped a woman." Actually what he said was that Vick should have just "screwed those bitches."



Whoopi on the View
Whoopi Goldberg has joined the cast of "The View"... or is that just the part of Star Jones that was cut off in the gastric bypass? It's not clear.



Rumsfeld Denial
Donald Rumsfeld has denied any role in the coverup surrounding former NFL-turned-Army Ranger Pat Tillman's death. But Rumsfeld does admit to covering up Michael Vick's Iraqi dog fighting operation.



Endeavor Maintenance
With a launch countdown looming, NASA is scrambling to fix some problems aboard space shuttle Endeavour. Most of the work is cleaning up empty beer cans and puke stains.