Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Pipeline Connection
Republicans are willing to extend the payroll tax holiday if President Obama stops blocking the heavy job-creating construction of the Keystone Pipeline. The President has strongly rejected the idea because he only wants Americans to get a payroll tax cut, he never said anything about getting them on a payroll.

Texting Law
Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood wants a national law against texting while driving. It turns out its really dangerous to text people about how drunk you are when you'r the FAA chief and driving on the wrong side of the road.

Corzine Testimony
Jon Corzine will appear before a Congressional committee looking into the collapse of his MF Global hedge fund. Corzine is expected to offer every member of the committee his usual offer: the truth or a new campaign donation.

Baldwin Sorry
Alec Baldwin is apologizing to his fellow passengers after he delayed an American Airlines flight Tuesday during a dispute with a stewardess. Apparently, Baldwin got upset when he was told he was too big to keep his ass as a carry on item.

Mars Old Water
Scientists have found new evidence of ancient water on Mars... it was something very old beings used to drink called "Perrier."

December 8th

1854: Pope Pius IX proclaims that the Virgin Mary was born free of original sin... and without a condom.

1916: The Brookings Institution, one of the United States' oldest think tanks, is founded. And as soon as they think of something, they'll let us know.

1987: Frank Vitkovic shoots and kills eight people at the Australia Post Office building in Melbourne, putting all of America's less deadly post office shooters to shame.


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