Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Egypt Elections
Radical Islamists are leading so far in the Egyptian elections. That means the next time we'll see large crowds gathering in Tahrir Square, it'll be for a public stoning.

S&P Slam
S&P has downgraded six major U.S. banks because they have too much exposure to Europe. Of course, a little air freshener should fix that.

Bad Teacher
The former Philadelphia public school chief who got a $1 million buyout this year is still filing for unemployment benefits. She's also heading to several school yards and shaking down the 2nd graders for their lunch money.

Police have cleared out the "Occupy Los Angeles" encampment and the movement seems dead. Most of the protesters plan to return to doing what they did before: camping out for "Price is Right" tickets.

Euro Crash Preps
Most major corporations all over the world are feverishly working on plans to react to the end of the euro currency... mostly by paying their executives outrageous bonuses before it's too late.

November 30th

1864: Confederate General John Bell Hood mounts a dramatically unsuccessful frontal assault on Union positions in Franklin, Tennessee, with Hood losing six generals, a third of his troops, and all of his Hank Williams albums.

1982: Michael Jackson's Thriller is released... thus ending Michael Jackson's usefulness on Earth.

1998: Exxon and Mobil agree to merge... mostly to corner the market on dirty gas station bathrooms.


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