China Slowdown
China's manufacturing sector is reporting major slowdowns. In a relates story, the UAW is continuing it tour of several Chinese factories.




Fed Test
The Fed is going to test the big U.S. banks to see if they could withstand a European economic collapse. Luckily, the guy giving the test is Jon Corzine.



SAT Cheating
20 students are now accused in a major SAT cheating ring in New York. While the kids have lost any chance of getting into a great college, they're now all being accepted to the training program at Goldman Sachs.



Obama About Face
Less than 24 hours after browbeating the Republicans for not cutting the deficit, President Obama resumed his campaign tour pushing for more spending. Then he broke Sasha's piggy bank to buy Joe Biden an iPhone.



Dead Sea Evidence
New evidence suggests the Dead Sea Scrolls were probably written by the Essenes, an extremely obscure ancient Jewish sect that believed in the purity of water, wearing white clothing, and voting Republican.






November 23rd



534 BC: Thespis of Icaria becomes the first recorded actor to portray a character onstage... and hold up an entire production because his dressing hut wasn't big enough for him.



1644: John Milton publishes Areopagitica, a pamphlet decrying censorship. It is wildly popular until readers find out there are no nude pictures.



2007: MS Explorer, a cruise liner carrying 154 people, sinks in the Antarctic Ocean. There are no fatalities... except for the pancake buffet and the bridge tournament.