Bing's Alarm
Detroit Mayor Dave Bing says the city will run out of all money by April. Of course, he's just saying that in hopes the city's criminals will go rob some place else.



Syria Suspended
Syria has now been suspended from the Arab League. From now on, it will have to do all its Jew-hating on the amateur circuit.



Occupy Riot
The "Occupy Wall Street" protesters plan to disrupt subway service this afternoon. That'll teach all those millionaires and billionaires who take the D train to Brooklyn every day!



Cal State Tuition
California State University trustees have just voted to raise tuition by 9%. It's getting so expensive, it's almost not worth cutting class to protest tuition hikes anymore!



China's Anger
China is angry about President Obama's plans to build a massive new U.S. Marine base in Australia. The Chinese are worried they won't be able to make enough iPods, computers and cell phones to sell to all those troops in time.





November 17th


1871: The National Rifle Association is granted its first charter by the state of New York... mainly because New York had the most people worth shooting.


1947: The U.S. Screen Actors Guild implements an anti-Communist loyalty oath... obviously, no actor has ever taken it.



2004: Kmart Corp. announces that it is buying Sears, for $11 billion, a tragic mistake since it could have bought for half that at the doorbuster sale just a week later.