Heavy D Dead
When Michael Jackson died, LA County tried and convicted his doctor. Now that rapper Heavy D has died, a warrant is out for the arrest of Chef Boyardee.



Wiring America
The FCC is launching a $4 billion plan to get computers and high-speed internet to poor people... because everyone has a Constitutional right to porn.



Gambling in NJ
New Jersey voters have approved a ballot measure making sports betting legal. Of course the biggest sports gamble in New Jersey is parking a new car outside the Prudential Center in Newark.



Fur Ban
West Hollywood has banned the sale of fur coats... mostly because it gets in the way of all the cocaine dealers.



Caught on Mic
There's been little backlash after President Obama and French President Sarkozy were caught on an open mic saying nasty things about Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. There is however, a massive uproar over the fact that one of them revealed the winner of this year's "Survivor."






November 9th



1282: Pope Martin IV excommunicates King Peter III of Aragon. King Peter retaliates by peeing in the Communion wine.


1697: Pope Innocent XII founds the city of Cervia. With a Pope founding it, it was a lovely place... but the nightlife really sucked.


1967: First issue of Rolling Stone Magazine is published. Most of its pages are immediately torn out and used as rolling papers.