iCloud Out
Apple's iCloud service suffered an unusual outage Friday afternoon... So Apple users were forced to wait a few hours before they could resume making fun of BlackBerry users.



Sandusky Gets Paid
Disgraced Penn State coach Jerry Sandusky is still receiving a $59,000 per year state pension. He's also still claiming 115 dependent children on his tax return.



Health Care Push
The White House will unveil a plan today to spend $1 billion to create more health care jobs... mostly by giving that money to anyone willing to wash the Occupy Wall Street protesters.




Pelosi Defense
Nancy Pelosi is denying a "60 Minutes" report accusing her of "soft corruption." But her claims that she didn't profit from a credit card company deal would go a lot further if her entire face weren't made of plastic.




Mrs. Cain Speaks
Herman Cain's wife says the sex harassment claims against her husband don't ring true... especially since he hasn't touched her in 27 years.





November 14th


1770: James Bruce discovers what he believes to be the source of the Nile... and then plagiarizes it.



1889: Pioneering female journalist Nellie Bly begins a successful attempt to travel around the world in less than 80 days. Now, people are happy to get through the security line at JFK in less than 90 days.



1995: A budget standoff between Democrats and Republicans in the U.S. Congress forces the federal government to temporarily close national parks... forcing most of the nation's homosexuals to have sex in gas station bathrooms.




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