Craig Arrested
Senator Larry Craig says that police misconstrued his actions before arresting him for lewd behavior in a Minneapolis airport restroom. Craig, who had been working for Mitt Romney's presidential campaign, insists he was simply doing some "private polling."



Gonzales Quits
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has resigned. If he was going to keep getting criticized for breaking ethics laws, he figured he might as well do it for real money in the corporate world.

Gonzales Quits II
President Bush says Attorney General Alberto Gonzales name was dragged through the mud for political reasons... which is something that he only thinks should be done to U.S. attorneys.

Gonzales Quits III
Democrats in Congress are cheering the Gonzales resignation... now they can go back to calling their mistresses without fear of their phones being tapped.



Reality TV
With mortgage fears rising daily, a few popular reality TV shows have had to retool for the fall, including "Extreme Makeover: Foreclosure Edition," and "Ditch This House!"


Vick Apology
Michael Vick publicly apologized for his role in a dog fighting ring and said he "needs to grow up." Actually, what he needs to do now is learn how to shower with his clothes on.


Obesity on the Rise
The bad news is that 31 U.S. states showed an increase in obesity rates last year. The good news is that the two-for-one sandwich special at Arby's has been extended indefinitely!