Rich Dog
Now that Leona Helmsley has left $12 million to her dog, many are asking what a dog can do with that kind of money. In what might be a related story, there is now a $12 million contract out on Michael Vick's life.



Craig Loses Support
Several Republican leaders are now calling on disgraced Senator Larry Craig to resign, but most GOP lawmakers just want him to promise never to use the Senate mens room.



Nifong Pleads
Disgraced former prosecutor Mike Nifong pleaded not guilty Thursday to contempt of court charges. Nifong insisted he has no contempt for the court, just for rich white kids.




GAO Report
A scathing report by the General Accounting Office is blasting the Iraqi government for failing to meet the vast majority of political, economic, and military goals set out for them by the voters... oh wait, that's actually the GAO's report on the Democrats in Congress.



Model Bitten
A Mrs. America contestant from Tennessee spent about 15 hours in a Tucson hospital after being bitten by a rattlesnake at a hotel. Even after the attack, she was still more coherent than the average Miss Teen USA contestant in the interview competition.