Welfare at the Nudie Bar
It turns out California's welfare debit cards were usable at dozens of strip club ATM's across the state. So THAT's what they mean by "Stimulus!"
Gore Case Reopened
After four years, police in Portland, Oregon are now reopening the sex assault investigation against Al Gore. They just wanted to wait until the local jail had a cell with recycled toilet paper.
The bidding for NBA superstar free agent LeBron James began at midnight. James is reportedly holding out for the same $750 million deal Elin Nordegren is getting from Tiger Woods.
The White House says President Obama will deliver a "major speech" on immigration today... but unless it's a preview of the World Cup quarterfinals, the target audience isn't expected to be listening.
Passport Fee Hike
The fee to get a U.S. passport is increasing from $100 to $135... those full-body pat downs at the customs check are apparently worth it.
1933: The Canadian Parliament suspends all Chinese immigration, disappointing the three Chinese people who had been thinking about playing hockey.
1960: Ghana declares its independence and becomes a republic mostly dedicated to embarrassing the U.S. in soccer.
1987: American radio station WFAN in New York City is launched as the world's first all-sports radio station. All married men across the New York area cease even pretending to listen to their wives from that day forward.