Byrd Dead
Senator Robert Byrd has died at age 92. Considering his record for pork barrel legislation, 178 people will probably be hired and get lifetime pensions just to dig his grave.



California Fires
The number of wildfires in California is down sharply from last year. That's good news, because the California state legislature is still burning money.



Airline Food Warning
The FDA is now warning that airline food is a potential health threat... mostly because it tends to spoil after planes are stranded on the tarmac for 16 hours.



Obama Fails at G20
President Obama failed to convince the other G20 nations to keep up their government spending. He did, however, get them to pick up the check for the six bags of peanuts he took from the hotel minibar.



Stevens Leaving
Today is Justice John Paul Stevens' final day on the Supreme Court. He's stepping down now because there isn't anymore of the Constitution he can use for toilet paper.





June 28th

1519: Charles V is elected emperor of the Holy Roman Empire, beating out all the other candidates who had much more difficult Roman numerals after their names.


1635: Guadeloupe becomes a French colony. Bathing becomes illegal the following day.


1914: Franz Ferdinand, Archduke of Austria, is assassinated in Sarajevo setting off World War I and sending sales of Ferdinand's last two albums through the roof.