Stolen Plane
A Canadian man stole a small plane from Ontario and flew erratically for six hours before landing in rural Missouri. As expected, President Obama is rushing back to the U.S. to apologize to the pilot.



Afghan Marriage Law
A new law in Afghanistan makes it unlawful for women to refuse sex with their husbands... but it does make it easier for some wives during sex by allowing them to throw their burkas over their husbands' heads.



Torture Docs
A new Red Cross report says medical professionals working for the C.I.A. helped torture inmates. Apparently, while the agents waterboarded the detainess, Doctors innundated them with thousands of pages of medical forms to fill out.



AOL Spinoff
Time Warner's long-expected spinoff of AOL has moved a step closer to becoming a reality as the company has finally found a trash dumpster big enough to throw it out.



Castro Meeting
While meeting with several U.S. Congressmen yesterday, Cuban leader Raul Castro vowed to continuing defying America and its "evil" capitalist society. But his defiant stand was tempered somewhat when Castro asked the Congressmen if they had any spare toilet paper.


Castro Meeting II
While meeting with several U.S. Congressmen yesterday, Cuban leader Raul Castro vowed to continuing defying America and its "evil" capitalist society... oh wait, that's what those Congressmen heard when they met with President Obama.