Body in the House
Florida police say a 61-yr-old woman has been living with the body of her dead mother for years in order to collect her Social Security checks. She's also been living with a brain dead AIG exec for six months just to collect his bonus.



Spend to Save?
At a newsconference last night, President Obama promised to reduce the deficit by borrowing another two trillion dollars. Looks like someone at the White House forgot to lay off President Bush's speechwriters.

President Obama insists we can spend more and still reduce the deficit... mostly by using identity theft.



No Times
President Obama shocked the news media last night when he did not call on any New York Times reporters during his news conference. It turns out Obama was worried they were going to ask him for spare change.



Save the Papers
Democrats in the Senate want to help save newspapers by designating them as non-profit organizations.... which is funny because that's what Senate Democrats have been trying to make the entire country for the last 40 years.



Dodd & AIG
It turns out Senator Chris Dodd's wife was a director at a company controlled by AIG. Dodd insists he doesn't remember marrying her.