Thursday, March 12, 2009

Madoff on the Move
Bernie Madoff is on his way to the federal courthouse to plead guilty to 11 felony counts... that's not including the seven synagogues and Jewish day schools he plans to rip off on the way downtown.

Madoff has entered the courthouse. His mother is reportedly mortified as he was not wearing a jacket.

Foreclosure Spike
Foreclosures were way up in February despite the fact that banks were putting moratoriums on foreclosures for their customers. Unfortunately, the banks forgot to freeze foreclosures on their own employees.

Shoe Thrower Sentence
The Iraqi journalist who threw shoes at President Bush was sentenced to 3 years today. Americans who would like to throw shoes at President Obama have been sentenced to another 3 years and 10 months.

Education Cuts
The weak economy is forcing Washington State to cut high school gym and sex ed classes. It's a smart fiscal move as without taking gym classes, most high school kids will be too fat to have sex anyway.

Stanford Sues Stanford
Stanford University is suing alleged ponzi schemer Robert Allen Stanford for using the school's logo in his mailings. With its tuition at more than $50,000 per year, the university doesn't think Robert Stanford was scamming people enough.


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