Madoff Request
Bernie Madoff is asking the federal court to allow him to keep his Manhattan penthouse. Madoff is arguing that if he loses his home, he might run out of places to hide all his stolen money.



Bail Out the World
British Prime Minister Gordon Brown wants the U.S. to lead a global bailout. But Brown probably doesn't realize that the best way to do that is to bomb Iran.



Castro Shuffle
President Raul Castro has reorganized the Cuban cabinet to improve efficiency. From now on, the defense secretary is in charge of cleaning the bathrooms and the finance minister sweeps up the cabinet meeting room.



HHS Pick
President Obama has named Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius as his choice for Secretary of Health and Human Services. But it's not clear how wise it was to choose someone whose name sounds like a disease.


President Obama has named Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius as his choice for Secretary of Health and Human Services. Her first goal will be to work hard with medical professionals to stamp out the spread of Sebelius.



Blagojevich Book
Ousted Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich has made a deal to write a book. But anyone wanting to read it will first have to make a $10,000 campaign donation.



Cricket Attack
Pakistani terrorists opened fire on a bus carrying the national cricket team from Sri Lanka. It was the first exciting thing to happen in the sport of cricket in 67 years.