Dropping a Dime
Giant bank UBS has agreed to turn over the names of some of its richest customers to U.S. tax fraud investigators. UBS now stands for "U Been Snitched."



A-Rod Lies
Sports fans are still skeptical about Alex Rodriguez's excuses at his newsconference in Florida. Hey if you want to watch a multi-millionaire lying to me for an hour on TV, you can always watch CNBC.



Disney Layoffs
Disney plans to cut staff at all its theme parks. This is troubling news for Dumbo and Goofy, who just got jobs at DisneyWorld after getting laid off from Wall Street.



Leaner Times
The nation's top college sports programs are desperately looking for ways to cut costs. In a radical move, Ohio State is planning on eliminating tutors and actually forcing the football players to go to class.



U.S. Base Booted
The Kyrgyz parliament has voted to oust an American military base near the country's capital. Kyrgyz does say it will reconsider the decision if the U.S. gives it some vowels.