Porn Tax?
The federal government is considering taxing porn. The silicone futures market is down 78% on the news.



Drunk Minister Resigning
Japan's finance minister is stepping down after being obviously drunk at the G7 newsconference. He really stood out compared to all the other finance ministers who have been obviously stoned for the last 5 years.



Hillary's Warning
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is warning North Korea not to launch it's new missile. Of course, Hillary's been warning her husband Bill not launch his missile for years to no avail.



Old and Free
A new report shows that fewer elder care facillities are using restraints for their residents. In this economy, whatever nursing homes can do to free up new beds is okay.


Vick to SF?
Jailed former NFL star Michael Vick may end up with the San Francisco 49ers after he gets out of prison. Experts say environmentally conscious San Francisco will embrace Vick because he always recycled and composted his dogs after brutally killing them.