Beheaded Wife
The Bufflao man who founded a cable TV network dedicated to portraying Muslims in a better light has beheaded his wife for trying to divorce him. His network is planning a special on how he humanely knocked her out before slicing off her head.



Hillary Leaves Town
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has left the country on her first trip as America's top diplomat. Now that Bill is home alone, the nation's leading brothels and call girl services have been put on high alert.



Another Collision
A British nuclear submarine collided with a French submarine in the Atlantic Ocean earlier this month. This follows the collision of an American communications satellite with a Russian satellite last week. Luckily, there are no reports of anyone accidentally getting their chocolate in someone else's peanut butter.



France Admits Guilt
A French court has ruled that the French government was indeed responsible for deporting Jews to death camps during World War II. The French government is hoping the ruling will make the country even more popular in Arab countries than it already is.

The judicial council found that the French government at the time was responsible for deportations that led to anti-Semitic persecution. Today's French government maintains anti-Semitic persecution by importing immigrants from Saudi Arabia.


Millions of French Arabs reacted to the news by dancing in the streets... then they realized where they were and started setting cars on fire.