Obama Denials
The Obama administration is insisting that it's economic policies are not socialism... they're suicide.



Paper Deal
The San Francisco Chronicle has reached a tentative agreement with its largest union. So when the paper goes out of business next week, management has agreed to turn off the lights, and labor has agreed to padlock the doors.



Obama Education
President Obama wants public schools to go beyond math and reading proficiency and include classes on "creativity" and "imagination." Kids who grow up with more creative imaginations and less math and reading ability have great career opportunities in the White House budget office.



Citi Profitable
The good news is that the bailed out bank Citigroup was actually profitable for the first two months of 2009. The bad news is that to do that, it was forced to sell crack from its ATM's.



NFL Immune
A new report shows that the National Football League is exempt from being sued if terrorists attack a site the league is protecting. The news is sending fans and players scrambling to make sure they have still have some legal protection from Terell Owens.



NFL Immune II
A new report shows that the National Football League is exempt from being sued if terrorists attack a site the league is protecting. And the terrorists have a right to sue if they somehow get stuck in the upper deck with a bunch of Raider fans.