Bad Bank Plan
The government is asking private investors to buy up all the bad mortgage assets sitting on bank balance sheets. In return for that money, Congress promises to publicly bash all those private investors for making too much money, and then hit them with new taxes.

The government is asking private investors to buy up all the bad mortgage assets sitting on bank balance sheets. Plan B is to load those assets on a ship and hope they're stolen by Somali pirates.



Obama on TV
In the last few days, President Obama has appeared on "The Tonight Show" and "60 Minutes." But to avoid the really tough questions about how his budget doesn't add up, the president is refusing all requests to go on "Sesame Street."



Celibacy Argument
New York's Cardinal Edward Egan says the Church should think about allowing priests to marry. Given the state of the Church, Egan says it might be a good idea as long as long as they only marry really, really rich women.



Factory Accident
Eleven workers are dead after the ceiling of a chemical plant in China collapsed. The accident is expected to drastically delay the essential supply of poisonous chemicals needed to make Chinese dog food.