Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Gupta to Surgeon General
President-elect Obama has chosen CNN anchor Sanjay Gupta to be the next Surgeon General. The Obama team wanted someone with more experience, but Gupta was the only one who would accept their insurance.

Auto Show
The Detroit Auto Show begins next week. The show is expected to be the same as usual, except this year it will be held in a local funeral parlor.

Tulsa played Ball State in the GMAC Bowl last night. The game had to be called at halftime after bankruptcy officials came along and repossessed the ball.

Temporary Cease Fire
Israel is halting its military operations in Gaza for three hours today to allow Palestinians to bring in vital supplies like food, water, and gullible news photographers.

During the cease fire, Hamas is promising to halt all rocket firings into Israel, which means the only attacks against the Jewish state will be on CNN.

Relief organizations say their is a possible health crisis in Gaza because of the failure of the sewage system. But the BBC, CNN, and al Jazeera insist they've been continuing to pump sewage out of Gaza with no interruption.

Madoff Money
Ten days before his arrest, Bernard Madoff received $250 million from a 95-year-old investor. This reveals another partof Madoff's scam: get money from people who will probably forget they gave it to you.

Bernie Madoff could have his bail revoked and be sent to jail by Friday... or prosecutors could get really tough and confine Madoff to his home in Palm Beach with all his relatives for the next two weeks.


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