Mangini Out
The New York Jets have fired head coach Eric Mangini. After hearing that the Detroit Lions had just gone 0-16, Jets management just HAD to hire their head coach!



Israel Slams Hamas
Israel is continuing its air attack on Hamas targets in Gaza. The Israeli air force was lucky enough to use most of its bombs before they could be stolen by Bernie Madoff.


As the bombardment continues, Hamas militants are deliberately using civilian human shields. The Israelis are denouncing the practice, especially since none of the human shields is Jimmy Carter.



Media Depiction
The international news media is filled with pictures of wounded Palestinians cramming Gaza hospitals. It's proof once again that the biggest reason why so many Palestinians are dying is because their hospitals employ more photographers than doctors.


Times Wants Tax Hikes
The New York Times wants the U.S. government to raise the gas tax, which means the Times may actually become the first failing company that won't get a bailout.


FUN WITH CAPTIONS!!! (The REAL story behind those pictures from Gaza in the media)



"This Israeli attack is terrible... now we won't make it to my sister's honor killing!"




"Okay, the Gaza Walmart is not starting this doorbuster sale until after 5am... so stay in line everybody."




"Palestinian women react as they learn that the latest Hamas rocket attack didn't kill any Jews."



"We want peace! Give peace a chance! Death to the Jooz!, Oops, you got us!"





"Now I may never grow up to be a teenage suicide bomber."




"The REALLY bad news is that our fire insurance policy is with AIG!"



"He ain't heavy, he's my ticket on to al-Jazeera!"




"This is SO going to be my new profile pic on JDate!"




"Quick! We've got to get this body to the BBC camera shoot before prime time!!"




"Check out the crowd here at Dick Clark's rocking Gaza New Year's Eve!"



"What the Hell is up with Brett Favre?!?"