Dems Block Burris
Democrats say they will refuse to seat Roland Burris in the Senate because being appointed by Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich will put him under a cloud of suspicion. That's opposed to the 99 other U.S. Senators who we already KNOW are corrupt.



Detroit Murder Rate
Detroit is on pace to have its lowest number of homicides in more than 40 years. Looks like every traditional industry in Motown is way down this year.



Bacon Loses with Madoff
It turns out Kevin Bacon also lost big bucks in the Bernie Madoff scandal. On the bright side, this could mean Kevin Bacon is Jewish!

Reports say Kevin Bacon lost millions in the Bernie Madoff ponzi scheme. Of course, there's just something not kosher about Madoff taking money from a guy named "Bacon."



No Bailout Check Yet
GM and Chrysler were scheduled to receive the first installment of their bailout money on Monday, but they still haven't received it yet. The Treasury says it has the money, but the actual check had to be ordered from the factory.



Israel Says "No Deal"
France is condemning Israel for rejecting a cease fire deal with Hamas. Of course, France is also condemning Israel for rejection a cease to exist deal that it's had on the table since 1948.



Dell Changes
Dell Computer is shaking up its executive team. The president of global operations, is being replaced, the chief marketing officer is being replaced, but the most effective move will be when Dell replaces all their computers with Apples.