GMAC Loan
GMAC is getting a $6 billion loan from the U.S. government. GMAC has 36 months to either pay off the loan, but it will probably trade it in for a bigger loan after about a year.



Hamas Angry
Hamas continues to strongly protest Israel's attacks on its strongholds in Gaza... mostly because the Israeli action is making it impossible for Hamas to carry out its mission of killing Palestinians who aren't members of Hamas.



Israel Criticized
Israel is being accused of committing war crimes in Gaza, but the Israelis insist all they did was force the Palestinians to invest with Bernie Madoff.




Bristol's a Mom
Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol has given birth to a baby boy... but liberal groups insist it's not too late for an abortion.



New American Cars
The bailed-out Detroit automakers are offering some new features. Now when you push the OnStar button in your GM car, you get an ambulance, a tow truck, and UAW lobbyist.



Teen Sex Pledge
A new study shows that more than half of the teens who take the "virginity pledge" end up breaking their promise. From now on, organizers will be giving each teen who takes the pledge a new Playstation 3.



MORE FUN WITH PICTURES!!! (Accurately captioning those staged pictures from Gaza)


"You know, I'm thinking Allah might actually be an Israeli."




"This foreclosure crisis is really hurting real estate values."




"Red light!... Green light!"



"Firing bullets in the air isn't exactly a real job, but it beats working!"