New York Gay Marriage
New York state has decided to recognize gay marriages, as long as they are performed elsewhere. The policy will simultaneously boost the state tax revenue while also cutting its exposure to tacky centerpieces and gawdy ice sculptures.



Olmert Bribe?
A New York businessman has admitted to giving Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert $150,000 in cash. It's the most money any New Yorker has ever given an Israeli without at least getting some pirated electronic equipment or a cell phone in return.

Syria says that Olmert's scandal is making peace talks with Israel difficult... not as difficult as the fact that the Syrians are killing thousands of innocent people a day... but it's a problem.



Mentally Impaired
Studies show that the number of accused criminals who have been declared mentally incompetent is rising in 10 of the nation's 12 largest states. But the number of lawyers who have been found morally incompetent is rising in all 50 states.



Ellen's Jokes
Ellen DeGeneres continues to make fun of President Bush and John McCain for their opposition to gay marriage. This is apparently her way of trying to forget that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton oppose it too.


Stone Apologizes
Sharon Stone says she is "deeply sorry" for saying that the Chinese earthquake may have been Karma for its government's treatment of Tibet. No word yet on whether Stone is deeply sorry for "Casino", "The Muse," or "Basic Instinct 2."