Cook Wins
David Cook won the American Idol competition last night by a margin of 12 million votes... but Hillary Clinton still believes she has a chance to win.



Gas Pain
Gas prices are getting so high, Vito Fossella and Eliot Spitzer are keeping their wives and girlfriends within walking distance from now on.



American's New Fees
American Airlines is now charging passengers $15 to check in their first bag... and if you want it back when you land, it'll cost you $25.



Surprise Jobs Report
The number of newly laid off workers filing for unemployment benefits fell unexpectedly last week to the lowest level in a month. Of course, more Americans will be fired as soon as they can afford to drive back in to work.



Drug Pulled
The Federal Aviation Administration has removed the anti-smoking drug Chantix from the list of medications considered safe for airline pilots... mostly because Chantix does not work well when washed down with 11 martinis.