Thursday, May 15, 2008

Edwards Backs Obama
John Edwards has endorsed Barack Obama for president. This means Edwards will give Obama his delegates, donor lists, and the name of his best hairdresser.

Bush Slams Dems
President Bush suggested today that the Democrats are appeasing terrorists... a sharp difference from his fellow Republicans, who insist that the Democrats ARE the terrorists.

Amazing Breakthrough
NASA has perfected a device that converts human urine into drinking water. Finally, an answer to the millions of Americans who have always asked: You can put a man on the moon, but you can't turn urine into clean water?!?

The whole idea was pioneered by dogs drinking out of the toilet.

Foreclosure Toll
A new study says that rampant foreclosures are taking a mental toll on American homeowners... especially the ones who were crazy enough to think their two-bedroom capes were worth $700,000.

Senate Nixes SPR
The Senate has approved a bill calling for the U.S. to stop sending shipments to the strategic petroleum reserve... so long as the oil companies continue sending donations to their campaign reserves.


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