NEWSDAY ALERT!! I'm back in today's "Punchlines" column in Newsday and Newsday.com! Here's the link: Newsday



Hillary's Vow
Despite every indication that it's over, Hillary Clinton is vowing to keep fighting to the end... but enough about her marriage.



Cyclone Aid
The U.S. is promising to do whatever's necessary to force Myanmar to accept emergency aid. Apparently, the only way to get help from the Bush administration after a weather disaster is to play hard to get.



Organ Donation
New York city officials plan to dispatch ambulances that can preserve bodies of the newly dead to allow for organ donation. Of course, the city already has a vehicle filled with hundreds of newly dead people every day... it's called the D train.



Southwest Bribery?
The head of the federal office overseeing Southwest Airlines reportedly accepted thousands of dollars in free pilot training from the company... making him the first-ever government employee with actual job skills.



Star Blasts Baba
Star Jones is blasting Barbara Walters new book... mostly because it's not edible.