Egan Angry
New York's Cardinal Egan is bashing Rudy Giuliani for taking Communion during the Pope's visit last week. Giuliani is promising to make it up to Eagan by allowing him to perform his next three marriages.



Clemens Affair
A new report claims that Roger Clemens had a relationship with country singer Mindy McCready beginning when the girl was just 15 years old. Clemens is denying the report and plans to make a public statement as soon as he can tear himself away from those Hannah Montana pictures in Vanity Fair.



Grand Theft 4
The latest version of the "Grand Theft Auto" video game hits stores today. In this edition, gas is actually more expensive than the drugs.



U.S. Population
A population expert says the U.S. will have 1 billion residents by the year 2100... raising concerns that the American Idol phone lines won't be able to handle all the added traffic.



American Bleeding Money
A new report shows that American Airlines loses $3.3 million a day... which explains why they really don't care too much about losing your bags.



UN vs. Starvation
The U.N. is setting up a special commission to deal with the growing world food crisis... which means everyone on that committee is working hard to find a way to blame it on Israel.