L.A. Wildfires
Wildfires in the L.A. area have forced 1,000 people to flee their homes... causing traffic jams as they collide with the 100,000 people abandoning their foreclosed homes.


Checks Coming
The first stimulus checks are being deposited in the accounts of taxpayers who were smart enough to sign up for direct deposit with the IRS. But the really smart tax payers are just having their checks deposited directly to the gas station.



Wrigley's Bought
The good news for Warren Buffett and Mars is that Wrigley's is accepting their bid to buy the company. The bad news is that they're now the target of a massive class action law suit filed by every American who ever had chewing gum stuck in their hair.


No Merger
Continental has decided against merging with United Airlines. Continental executives figure they can reignite merger talks when they see the guys from United in bankruptcy court in a couple months.



Hannah's Hot Pix
"Hannah Montana" star Miley Cyrus has posed for some revealing photos in Vanity Fair... so now in addition to 8-year-old girls, scalpers will be selling Hannah Montana tickets on all the pedophile web sites as well.