Airline Merger
United and Continental Airlines are in advanced merger talks. The new combined airline will be known as "UnContented."



Sharpton Threat
Al Sharpton is vowing to "shut down the city," after three New York City police officers were acquitted in the shooting of Sean Bell. Sharpton has a point: when a drunken man can't ram his car into police officers after being at a strip club until 4am on his wedding day... well, what CAN a person do in America anymore?

Bell Reaction
Local New York TV stations are reporting some loud and angry protests in response to the Sean Bell verdict... but not as loud and angry as the two guys fighting for a parking sport on Parsons Boulevard.



Hillary's Challenge
Hillary Clinton is challenging Brack Obama to a series of debates with no moderator. Obama is willing to accept, provided the moderator be replaced by a lie detector.



Etrade Brass Leaving
ETrade's CFO and General Counsel are both resigning, effective May 9th. Actually they'd like to leave sooner, but they can't leave until they can get notify a real person at ETrade customer service.



Curing Blindness
Scientists are progressing nicely in their use of gene therapy to cure blindness. The really tricky part is helping the formerly blind patients from going into cardiac arrest when they first see the prices at the gas station.