See-Through Technology
New technology that can "see" through clothing and detect what's underneath is a potentially effective tool to prevent terrorism... and to help women seeing new men decide if they should go on that third date.



Hedge Fund Money
The top 25 hedge fund managers averaged a salary of $892 million each in 2007. But due to high inflation, all that bought them was a few houses and Hillary Clinton.



Pope's Birthday
Pope Benedict XVI turns 81 today. It's lucky that he's in the United States for his birthday, because now he can get that free breakfast at Denny's.


The Pope will conduct a Mass at Washington's Nationals Park tomorrow. To make sure everyone feels more comfortable seeing him on a baseball field, the Pontiff began injecting steroids last week.



Fuel Back to Gaza
Israel has resumed fuel shipments to Gaza after a weeklong cutoff. This is great news for Palestinians who were running out of gas to help them set tires on fire.



Ahmadinejad's Latest
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is casting doubt over the U.S. version of the Sept. 11th attacks, calling it a pretext used to invade Afghanistan and Iraq. It's not clear whether Ahmadinejad is trying to anger the United States, or just impress Rosie O'Donnell.