NEWSDAY ALERT!! I'm back in today's "Punchlines" column in Newsday and Newsday.com! Here's the link: Newsday



Madonna Wait
The wait to see Madonna's free concert at Roseland Ballroom in New York last night was 60 hours. The wait to sleep with Madonna continues to be 60 seconds.



Bell Protest Preps
The NYPD is preparing for added duty as Al Sharpton is promising to "shut down New York City" with a series of protests against the Sean Bell verdict. Sharpton continues to think that the best way to punish the NYPD is to give its officers lots of opportunities for paid overtime.



Troop Mental Health
A new survey shows that American troops are worried about their mental health... something that they stop worrying about as soon as they see the real crazy people at anti-war rallies.



Al Qaeda Leader Killed
A U.S. airstrike has killed the top al Qaeda agent in Somalia. The top al Qaeda rep in Ethiopia and Nigeria will cover his assasinations and sales calls until a replacement can be named.



Sending Money Home
Fewer Latino immigrants to the U.S. are sending money home. It's a sign of looser family ties, and the fact that the dollar is now worth about half a peso.