Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Obama Speech
Presidential candidate Barack Obama is set to deliver a major speech today on race and politics. Hillary Clinton will respond with a major speech reminding all Americans that she is certainly not at all disturbed by Obama's race, anti-American black nationalist pastor, or kinky hair.

Rebate Checks on the Way
The IRS says the tax rebate checks should be in the mail by May. So all Americans will have to make sure they have a forwarding address since most of their homes will be foreclosed by then.

Dalai Lama's Choice
The Dalai Lama says he is considering resigning because of violent protests against Chinese rule in Tibet... well, that and because he was "client number eight."

Paterson Comes Clean
New York's new Governor David Paterson is admitting that he and his wife had affairs during a "rough patch" in their marriage. That's okay with New York voters, as long as those affairs weren't with former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey and his wife, Dina.

D.C. Handguns
The Supreme Court will decide whether Washington's sweeping ban on handgun ownership violates the Constitution. Of course, Washington residents really only need guns when Congress is in session.


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