Bare Stearns
Bear Stearns shares are in freefall after the brokerage basically ran out of cash. This is what happens when you give all your executives expense accounts at the Emperor's Club.



Iran Elections
Turnout is reportedly "mixed" in today's elections in Iran. Iranians are split right down the middle with half of the population showing up to vote for the current government, and the other half too busy getting tortured and executed.



Big Changes
Now that David Paterson is about to become the new governor of New York, a lot of changes are on the way. Top aides to Eliot Spitzer are getting new jobs, state legislators are changing their budget requests, and the Emperor's Club is now using very large type on its website.



Weak Dollar
The dollar continues to hit new lows against the euro in currency trading. It's getting so bad, Emperor's Club members are now being asked to pay in oil or gold.