Spitzer Shocker
It looks like New York Governor Eliot Spitzer is admitting he was a frequent customer of a prostitution ring. His political career is over... unless he marries Hillary Clinton.

Spitzer says he will make another public statement only after he "regains the trust of his wife"... so when he does speak, it will be with a much higher-pitched voice.


Tainted Water
A vast array of pharmaceuticals -- including anti-convulsants, mood stabilizers and sex hormones -- have been found in the drinking water supplies in hundreds of American cities. Well, that explains the last five presidential election results.

... Finally, some good news for Americans who can't afford prescription medication!



McDonald's Sales
Sales at McDonald’s soared by 12% last month. The franchise has been able to get a better handle on profits ever since the Hamburgler was finally arrested last year.



Mail-In Vote
Political leaders are debating the idea of using a mail-in ballot to resolve the Florida and Michigan re-vote issue. By relying on the U.S. Postal Service, the Democrats can expect to have their nominee clarified sometime in early 2015.



Economic Domino Effect
Studies show the housing downturn is starting to hurt sales of TV’s… not because people can’t afford them anymore, but because people are sick of hearing about the housing downturn every time they turn on the TV.