Palestinian Protests
Thousands of Palestinians are protesting against Israel's killing of several teenage militants. They're outraged that Israel had the audacity to kill them before they could blow themselves up.

The renewed violence is dashing the White House's hopes for peace talks... now the only other idea the Bush administration has is to give all the Israelis and Palestinians $600 tax rebate checks.

Europe's leaders are denouncing Israel's military action in response to dozens of deadly rocket attacks by Hamas. Europeans just can't help but miss those days when you could kill lots of Jews and they never said anything.


Rice Reaction
U.S. Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice is reportedly so distraught by the renewed fighting that she's actually thinking of going to the dentist.


Jack Likes Hillary
Jack Nicholson has endorsed Hillary Clinton for president. He figures Hillary in the White House would finally be someone scarier than he is.


Huckabee Endorsement
The Dallas Morning News has endoresed Mike Huckabee for the Republican nomination... and keeping with that theme, the paper is also picking the Patriots to beat the Giants to win the Super Bowl.



China Policy
China is thinking of changing its one child policy; it turns out a better way to reduce the Chinese population is to just give every family a bunch of locally-made toys.