Harry Coming Home
Prince Harry has been recalled to Britain after news leaked that he had been serving on the front lines in Afghanistan. Now he's been assigned to far more dangerous duty; patroling the area between his Aunt Fergie and the nearest Twinkie.


Poison Found
A package with the deadly poison ricin has been found at a motel in Las Vegas. The only thing in Vegas that can kill you faster is the Celine Dion show.