Richardson In
New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson officially announced his candidacy for president today, despite being way behind in the fundraising race. But experts say Richardson can overcome his financial shortcomings, mostly because his campaign staff is made up mostly of illegal immigrants.


Lebanon Fighting
Lebanese troops continue to pound Palestinian refugee camps in Tripoli... but since the Israelis aren;t doing it, no is protesting to the U.N. or crying on MSNBC.


Carter Backs Off
Former President Jimmy Carter said Monday his remarks were "careless" when he said the Bush administration has been the "worst in history." Had he thought about it even a little more, of course he would have said that the Carter administration was the worst in history.


New Pill
A birth control pill that would eliminate periods completely for women is expected to be approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. Once it's approved, everyone will finally discover the real reason most women are cranky: men.


MySpace Deal
MySpace has finally agreed to share its data on sexual predators with officials in state governments. Unfortunately, most sexual predators are currently working as officials in state governments.


Moore's Movie
Just looking at Michael Moore's new film "Sicko" forces viewers to ask why Americans don't get better healthcare... but not as much as it forces them to ask why Michael Moore doesn't take better care of himself.