Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Box Office Hits
President Bush is inadvertently the star of one of the top grossing movies in the country now that "Fahrenheit 9/11" has made more than $100 million. Of course, he's still playing second-fiddle to his wife, who is the subject of the even more popular "I Robot."

Top 5 Reasons President Bush Won't See Fahrenheit 9/11 in Crawford

-He can't be expected to sit and pay attention to anything for two whole hours

-Secret service won't let him near any place that sells pretzels

-He's having too much fun shooting out TV screens while watching the Democratic Convention

-Can only see one film on this vacation... and it's going to be "Garfield the Movie"

-He's waiting for the release of the even more controversial "director's cut"

Last Comic Standing
The voting lines are open as millions of fans are choosing their favorite comedians in the "Last Comic Standing" reality show. The only trouble is that so far, most Americans say the person on TV who made them laugh the most last night was Ted Kennedy.

Jackson Trial Delayed
The judge in the child molestation case against pop star Michael Jackson is pushing back the start of the trial to January 31, 2005. Now Jackson has more time to prepare his legal defense, refute new charges in the news media, and have 3 more plastic surgeries.

Cheaper Hummer
Hummer is coming out with a new model that's reasonable priced at $30,000. Of course that's still less than it costs to fill up the tank.


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