Thursday, June 16, 2011

The AARP is now supporting President Obama's plans to cut Social Security. It's the most shocking thing the group has done since it gave Dr. Kevorkian a lifetime achievement award.

Edged Out
California has rejected U2 rocker "The Edge's" plan to build 5 mansions in Malibu. Because of the guitarist's role in creating the Spiderman musical, the state said it just could not vouch for the project's safety.

DSK Plea
The Financial Times reports that the first words out of Dominique Strauss-Kahn's mouth when he was picked up at JFK last month were: "diplomatic immunity." The second words were: "at least I didn't steal the hotel towels!".

Greek Shuffle
As its economic emergency deepens, Greece has a new finance minister. And confidence is high because this one is getting a calculator WITH batteries!

BlackBerry maker RIMM Technologies is warning that it won't make big profits this year. It would have emailed this warning a few hours earlier, but there was the usual shutdown of BlackBerry service at 5:00 this morning.

June 17th

1462: “Vlad the Impaler” attempts to assassinate Mehmed II forcing him to retreat from Wallachia… where he opens a gay bar coincidentally called “Vlad the Impaler.”

1960: The Nez Perce tribe is awarded $4 million for 7 million acres of land. Payment is made with cartons of tax-free cigarettes.

1971: President Richard Nixon declares the U.S. War on Drugs. Unfortunately, his top generals are Elvis Pressley and Jim Morrison.


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