Weiner Weasel
Despite finally admitting to lying about sending lewd pictures to strange women, Anthony Weineris refusing to resign. He'd actually just like to stay at his desk at work since that's where he'll be sleeping from now on anyway.



USC Loses Title
The NCAA has rescinded USC's 2004 college football championship... and if any of those players had actually graduated, their diplomas would have been rescinded too.



Goolsbee Gone
Chief White House economic adviser Austan Goolsbee is quitting his job and going back to teaching... mostly because unlike taxpayers, college student don't mind getting nothing of value for $60,000 a year.



Iraq Aid
The U.S. is going to send Iraq $3 billion to pay for it security forces. The way our government it spending money, that $3 billion is safer over there.



We're Broke
A shocking new repoert shows that the total cost of promises the federal government has made that are NOT paid for is $61.6 trillion... and that doesn't even include the jewelry Anthony Weiner is going to have to buy his wife this month!






June 7th



1892: Benjamin Harrison becomes the first President of the United States to attend a baseball game… and the last one to be shocked by the fact that all the players scratch their crotches in front of thousands of people.


1893: Gandhi commits his first act of civil disobedience… by refusing to be toilet trained.


1965: The Supreme Court hands down its decision in Griswold v. Connecticut, effectively legalizing the use of contraception by married couples… it will take effect as soon as some married couples decide to have sex.