Chrysler Celebration?
President Obama will go to a Chrysler plant today to tout the fact that Italy's Fiat is buying out the company. Then he'll go back to Washington and sell the rest of the White House to the Chinese.



Free Money???
Last year, the U.S. handed out $1.4 billion in free foreign aid to 16 countries that are actually lending us money. That's like sending your credit card company a tip every month.



No Paychecks?!?
California state legislators will not get their paychecks if the state budget is not passed by June 15... so the politicians are asking businesses for an advance on their bribes this month just to be safe.



Special Protections
California is considering a bill to protect people who want to cross dress at work. But people who want to go to a job wearing only their underwear are still only safe if they work in Congressman Anthony Weiner's office.



Keller Quits
Bill Keller is stepping down as executive editor of the New York Times. By doing so, Keller fulfills his life long dream of beating the rats off a sinking ship.







June 3rd

1608: Samuel de Champlain completes his third voyage to Quebec… thus inventing the hat trick.


1916: The National Defense Act is signed into law, creating a United States National Guard of 450,000 men… and 15 very nervous women.


1989: China sends troops to force protesters out of Tiananmen Square and get them back to making poison dog food like they were supposed to.