Friday, May 27, 2011

Arab Aid
The US and Europe are pledging $35 billion to several Arab nations. It's not clear if we're going to give them that money in cash, or just pay by credit card at the gas pump.

Gaga Deal
Amazon will again sell Lady Gaga's new album for 99 cents for one day. Most of her fans missed the same deal earlier this week because they were at a dance party on Neptune.

Frank Scandal
Congressman Barney Frank is accused of getting his lover a position at Fannie Mae. This is serious because in several states, getting your partner a government job like that is considered domestic abuse.

Mets Deal
Hedge fund manager David Einhorn has bought 49% of the Mets for $200 million. It's a good deal because the other 51% of the Mets are $3 billion in debt.

Yemen Order
The U.S. has just ordered all its nonessential diplomats to leave Yemen... but I thought all the nonessential government employees were already in the White House.

May 27th

1937: The Golden Gate Bridge opens to pedestrian traffic, and 500 people use it to commit suicide on the first day.

1967: The U.S. Navy aircraft carrier USS John F. Kennedy is launched by Jacqueline Kennedy, her daughter Caroline, and 663 of the late president’s favorite hookers.

1996: Russian President Boris Yeltsin meets with Chechnyan rebels for the first time and negotiates a cease-fire… in return for a bottle of vodka and a nudie magazine.


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