Sunday, May 22, 2011

Obama in Europe
President Obama begins a European tour today where he plans to give struggling European countries more aid... and by that he means he'll try to borrow more money from China to give struggling European countries more aid.

Gas Falls
Gas prices are down 14 cents in just the last 10 days! At that rate, the average family of four will soon be able to buy TWO cans of cat food for dinner!

Skipping School
In the Oakland, CA schools, 15% of the kids are absent four weeks or more every year. The other 85% apparantly know how to defend themselves a bit better.

Medicare Delusion
A new poll shows that most Americans say the budget can be balanced without cutting or changing Medicare... but only if the whole country moves to South America without telling the old people.

Christie Probe
The White House is sending operatives to dig up dirt on New Jersey Governor Chris Christie... in other words, they're just looking for an excuse to spend the next six months visiting very Krispy Kreme in New Jersey.

May 23rd

1533: The marriage of King Henry VIII to Catherine of Aragon is declared null and void… no one asks them to return the china.

1911: The New York Public Library is dedicated… now known as The Homeless Hotel.

1958: Explorer 1 ceases transmission… it just couldn’t get enough ratings.


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