Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Budget Buster
The Milwaukee school system has a retiree healthcare bill this year that is TWICE the system's total annual $1 billion budget. The school board is responding by removing metal detectors from high schools so more aging and sick teachers get knocked off before retirement.

Pelosi Perks?
A whopping 20% of all the businesses getting Obamacare waivers are from Nancy Pelosi's district. The other 80% are going to the doctors who do her plastic surgeries.

Suicide Watch
Jailed IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn is under suicide watch at Rikers Island. Not because he faces devastating sexual assault charges, but because he's French and they're serving cheese whiz in the cafeteria today.

Netflix Rules
Netflix streaming content makes up about 30% of online traffic. The other 70% are the porno movies Netflix doesn't carry.

New Chief?
The IMF is now considering replacing its jailed leader Dominique Strauss-Kahn... especially now that Arnold Schwarzenegger is suddenly available.

May 18th

332: Constantine the Great announced free distributions of food to the citizens in Constantinople… mostly in hopes of winning the Democratic Party’s nomination for emperor.

1910: The Earth passes through the tail of Comet Halley. Halley then sues the Earth for sexual harassment.

1953: Jackie Cochran becomes the first woman to break the sound barrier. She does it well before her husband because he refused to ask for directions.


Post a Comment

<< Home