Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Red Ink Meeting
Vice President Jow Biden will host a bipartisan meeting on deficit reduction today... but the meeting is already $17 billion overbudget.

Arnold/Maria Split
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver are separating. The split comes because Schawarzenegger believes he can resume his movie career and Shriver wants to be married to someone who isn't delusional.

Microsoft Buying Skype
Microsoft is buying Skype for $7 billion... it's worth it to stop people from all over the world talking about how bad Vista is.

$15 Trillion Green
The UN Climate Panel says the world needs to invest $15 trillion over the next few decades to keep greenhouse gas emissions at bay. It's not that bad when you consider that getting Al Gore to shut up is probably worth at least $14 trillion.

Lifeguard Alert
Retired lifeguards in California are bankrupting the state with their $100,000+ per year pensions. They'll either have to accept cutbacks, or get jobs on the new series, "Baywatch: Boca Raton!"

May 10th

1503: Christopher Columbus visits the Cayman Islands and names them Las Tortugas after the numerous turtles thereā€¦ then he deposits those turtles in a local bank under an assumed name.

1865: Jefferson Davis is captured by Union troops near Irwinville, Georgia. While in captivity, he begins to come up with the idea for NASCAR.

1893: The Supreme Court of the United States rules in Nix v. Hedden that a tomato is a vegetableā€¦ a designation it had previously only given to President Millard Fillmore.


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