No Executions
California will not resume executions this year even though it has an already overcrowded death row. Governor Jerry Brown is asking the state's criminals to help out by not commiting any more murders until they get this straightened out.



Silver Slips
Silver prices crashed yesterday and are down some more today. It's getting so cheap, people are thinking about filling their gas tanks with it.



Dodgers Broke
The L.A. Dodgers don't have enough money to make payroll. That's okay, they don't have enough power to score more than two runs a game either.



Social Security Giveaways
Infomercial star Matthew Lesko is urging Americans who don't need their Social Security payments to give them to charity. Of course, getting elderly people to donate their extra money would be really bad news for golf courses, Lotto, and cats.



Intelligence Questions
The killing of Osama Bin Laden has raised concerns about how we gain intelligence in this country... and led most Americans to realize it still doesn't come from reading the New York Times.




May 4th


1415: Religious reformers John Wycliffe and Jan Hus are condemned as heretics… mostly for wearing white shoes after Labor Day.

1776: Rhode Island becomes the first American colony to renounce allegiance to King George III… and refuse to take a nap.

1998: A federal judge in Sacramento, California, gives "Unabomber" Theodore Kaczynski four life sentences for his terror attacks… and an additional 30 years for never using conditioner.