Jobs iPhone Denial
Steve Jobs insists that Apple iPhones do not track the locations of all its users... just the ones with a healthy liver and pancreas.



Obama Birth Certificate
President Obama released his birth certificate to the public yesterday because he says "he has more important things to do." Then he left the White House to attend a fundraiser and tape an interview with Oprah.



Rescinded Invitation
Britain says Syria's ambassador is no longer welcome at the royal wedding... neither is the belly dancer Prince Andrew is planning on bringing.



Chrysler Refi?
Chrysler says it wants to refinance its bailout loans from the government. In other words, it wants a lower interest rate on the money it's never going to pay back anyway.



Save the Turtle!
The federal government is close to blocking a planned solar plant in the Mojave Desert because it may harm an endangered turtle. It turns out most of those turtles have their entire retirement funds invested in Exxon.




April 28th


1253: Nichiren, a Japanese Buddhist monk, propounds Nam Myoho Renge Kyo for the very first time and declares it to be the essence of Buddhism, in effect become the founder of West L.A.


1945: Benito Mussolini and his mistress Clara Petacci are executed by a firing squad consisting of members of the Italian resistance movement, and people who liked their trains running late.


1970: President Richard Nixon formally authorizes American combat troops to fight communist sanctuaries in Cambodia, Laos, and on the Upper West Side.