Thursday, May 05, 2011

Oil Selloff
Crude oil fell more than $10 a barrel yesterday. This is the biggest one-day drop in oil since Wendy's ran out of salad dressing!

Marie's Marriage
Marie Osmond remarried her first husband, Stephen Craig, in Las Vegas earlier this week... confusing millions of fans who always thought her first husband was Donny.

Train Attacks?
Data taken from Osama bin Laden's compound shows that Al Qaeda was planning on attacking trains in the U.S... but had to abandon the idea when it turned out even suicide bombers don't want to go on Amtrak.

Strange Voice
An Oregon woman who underwent anesthesia for oral surgery woke up with a foreign accent. Madonna is responding by signing up for oral surgery.

CIA Stalked Osama
The U.S. says the CIA staked out Osama bin Laden in a nearby safehouse... and everyone in Pakistan knew about that too.

May 6th

1536: King Henry VIII orders English language Bibles be placed in every church… with hot naked pictures for the Garden of Eden chapters.

1861: Arkansas secedes from the Union… on a rumor that the federal government was about to require dental checkups.

1983: The Hitler diaries are revealed as a hoax after expert find they were written mostly in Yiddish.


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